Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris and April's Fool Day Joke

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris.

Category: Jokes

A little chuck norris joke about easter to cheer you up:

- Chuck norris is the reason easter bunny hides its eggs.

Category: Jokes

Chuck Norris jokes for Valentines day:

- On Valentines day Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his victims, being very romantic Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day.

- May Chuck Norris kick Valentines ass!

Category: Jokes

Chuch Norris and End of the World (2012) funny jokes and Facts:

- Maya haven't asked Chuck Norris before predicting the end of the world for December 21st of 2012. Chuck Norris is so angry that he is going to abolish this date from calendar 2012.

- The only person going to survive the 2012 end of the world hype is Chuck Norris.

- The Maya's said that in 2012 the end of the world would come! But what they didn't know: Chuck Norris is here!

- December 2012, Chuck Norris won't experience the end of the world. The end of the world will experience Chuck Norris.

Category: Jokes

Chuch Norris jokes and New Year 2012:

- Chuck Norris just moved New Year's Eve for 2012 to January 5th. Anyone got a problem with that?

- If you say "Chuck Norris" into a mirror three times on New Year's Eve 2012, Chuck Norris will show up behind you with an axe.

- Secret Santa 2012 is revealed by Chuck Norris.

- May The Chuck Norris be with us in 2012.

Category: Jokes

Funny resolutions for new year can not exclude Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris and New Year's funny resolutions:

- Chuck Norris firstly achieves his new year's goals and afterwards he makes his New Year's resolution!

- Chuck Norris achieves his new year resolution on new years eve.

Category: Jokes

1. Stop treating Chuck Norris like God. Treat God like Chuck Norris!
2. Definition of the Big Bang: Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God.
3. And God created light, and he thought it was good. Chuck thought it was Ok.
4. God did not create man in resemblance to himself he made them in resemblance to Chuck Norris
5. God created Jesus to inspire peace. When that didn't work, he created Chuck Norris to enforce it.
6. The song "What if God was one of us" was Chuck's way of trying to tell us something

Category: Jokes

All the Chuck Norris Christmas quotes are here:

Christmas happens, because Chuck Norris allows it to happen.

Oh Santa is real. And this year, if you're on the naughty list, Chuck Norris is coming to town.

Chuck Norris doesn't ask santa what he wants for christmas,Santa asks chuck norris what he wants for christmas.

For christmas santa sits on chuck norris's lap and asks him wat he wants for christmas

Santa Claus existed, until he forgot Chuck Norris' christmas gift.

What will Chuck Norris get us for Christmas?

Category: Jokes

Just like Santa, Chuck Norris has a list... But his list is people who are allowed to live and those who aren't.

The saddest moment of a childs life is not finding out Santa Claus isn't real.... it's finding out Chuck Norris is.

Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.

Santa gives Chuck Norris the naughty list, so you better be good.

Santa and Chuck Norris have one thing in common. They can see you, but you can't see them.

There used to be a Santa Claus. Then Chuck Norris came along....

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All I want for Christmas is Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.

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Santa Clause writes his Christmas list to Chuck Norris.

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All the Chuck Norris and God jokes on the internet :

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

God created man in his own image. Then Chuck Norris made several major improvements and created himself.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.

To get some sleep, Chuck Norris invented God.

If you looked up God in the dictionary, you would find half a photo of Chuck Norris. Chuck roundhouse kicked the other half of the dictionary to Australia.

When Chuck Norris plays God he always wins.

Category: Jokes

Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.

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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.

Category: Jokes