Chuck Norris and animals facts

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.

There is no such thing as evolution... only those animals Chuck Norris allowed to live

Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.

Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.

Category: Quotes

0 May 30, 2016

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Chuck Norris doesnt celebrate christmas, christmas celbrates chuck norris.

Santa Clause was real, before the year he forgot to give Chuck Norris a present.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Santa knocked on Chuck Norris' door on Christmas and was roundhouse kicked out. He sneaks in through chimneys ever since.

The top ten of Chuck norris jokes -eer- i mean chuck norris facts as of 2015 .

1) Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

2) Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

3) If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.

4) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

5) Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

6) Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute...

The top ten of Chuck Norris jokes as of 2015 .

1) Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

2) A Chuck Norris action figure has slept with more women than you.

3) There's a 99.9% chance, Chuck Norris is your biological father.

4) When Chuck Norris works out the machine gets stronger.

5) Chuck Norris' hand beats Royal Flush.

6) Chuck Norris doesn't sell "I"ce cream he sells "U" scream.

7) When Chuck Norris trims his beard, he donates his hair to the military; His shavings save lives in the form of Kevlar.

8) Nothing can...

Chuck Norris and Christmas Jokes :

Oh Santa is real. But if you're on the naughty list, Chuck Norris is even more real.

For christmas santa sits on chuck norris's lap and tells him what he wants for christmas.

Santa Claus existed, until he forgot Chuck Norris' christmas gift.

Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution. "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.

Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny...