Chuck Norris jokes 2015 Top 10

The top ten of Chuck norris jokes -eer- i mean chuck norris facts as of 2015 .

1) Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

2) Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

3) If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.

4) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

5) Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

6) Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund

7) Once Chuck norris and time had a fight. The time is still running.

8) When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

9) Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

10) Chuck Norris is reading all these facts and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.

And just one last Chuck Norris fact for good measure :

- Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.

Category: Jokes

0 October 16, 2015

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The top ten of Chuck Norris jokes as of 2015 .

1) Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

2) A Chuck Norris action figure has slept with more women than you.

3) There's a 99.9% chance, Chuck Norris is your...

Chuck Norris doesnt celebrate christmas, christmas celbrates chuck norris.

Santa Clause was real, before the year he forgot to give Chuck Norris a present.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Santa knocked on Chuck Norris' door on Christmas and was roundhouse kicked out. He sneaks in through chimneys ever since.

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.

There is no such thing as evolution... only those animals Chuck Norris allowed to live

Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.

Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.

Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.

Chuck Norris and Christmas Jokes :

Oh Santa is real. But if you're on the naughty list, Chuck Norris is even more real.

For christmas santa sits on chuck norris's lap and tells him what he wants for christmas.

Santa Claus existed, until he forgot Chuck Norris' christmas gift.

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.