The force of chuck norris

Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.

Category: Jokes

0 December 06, 2011

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The top ten of Chuck norris jokes -eer- i mean chuck norris facts as of 2015 .

1) Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

2) Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

3) If it looks like...

The top ten of Chuck Norris jokes as of 2015 .

1) Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

2) A Chuck Norris action figure has slept with more women than you.

3) There's a 99.9% chance, Chuck Norris is your biological father.

4) When Chuck Norris works out the machine gets stronger.

5) Chuck Norris' hand beats Royal Flush.

6) Chuck Norris doesn't sell "I"ce cream he sells "U" scream.

7) When Chuck Norris trims his beard, he donates his hair to the military; His shavings save lives in the form of Kevlar.

8) Nothing can...

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head's spinning", the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in arbitrary N-dimensional space and then set N = 13."

A Statistics Department is hiring mathematicians. Three recent graduates are invited for an interview: one has a degree in pure mathematics, another one in applied math, and the third one obtained his B.Sc. in statistics.
All three are asked the same question: "What is one third plus two thirds?"
The pure mathematician: "It's one."
The applied mathematician takes out his pocket calculator, punches in the numbers, and replies: "It's 0.999999999."
The statistician: "What do you want it to be?"

A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

The lawyer says: "Certainly a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.

The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and that is good for your health.

The mathematician says: " You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife --- you get some peace and quiet...

A bunch of jokes about the theory of relativity:

A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

According to Einstein's Theory of Relatives, the probability of in-laws...

Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

funny, lol, physics, physics jokes