Sarcasm helps keeps me from telling people what I really think of them.
When butterflies are in love, do they feel human’s in their stomach?
I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight. It’s called super glue.
When I don't...
Funny Facebook status games
Facebook status games and status update chains are fun and are complimented with many "likes". Like this post if you believe so :)
Ideas for funny Facebook status games (LMS games) and status update chains:
1. Like this status if you are in love.
2. Like this status and I'll give you a nickname.
3. Like this and I’ll tell you how I think you’ll die.
4. Like my status and i'll write my first impression about you.
5. Like my status and I'll tell you what's your best feauture.
6. Like my status and I will tell you why you’re one of my Facebook friends.
7. Like my status and i will tell you what your name really should be.
8. Like this status and I will tell you what theme song suits you.
9. Like this status and I’ll tell you what celebrity you’re most like.
10. Like my status and I’ll tell you what I would say if someone asked me what I thought about you.
11. Like this status and I will write i love you on your wall for 3 days.
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The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill...
A list of funny facebook status updates.
- You’ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
- The problem with reality is a lack of background music.
- All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
- Insert coin to view status message
- If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
- Never underestimate my power to get absolutely nothing done all day.
- Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
- My outstanding talent of cursing...
Some funny facebook status updates for Valentines day:
- They say there is someone for everyone but wasn't really thinking about me.
- Valentines day. Another great holiday to remind some of us how truly alone we are.
- Nothing is more romantic than letting you know that I love you via this Facebook Status update.
- Today I already killed some helpless flowers for you… what else do you want?
- Why do I need a date for Valentine’s Day? I can buy my own damn flowers & box of chocolate...
- I just wanted to tell you, on this very special...
Top 10 facebook and twitter status updates about love:
1. By the way, I wear the smile you gave me.
2. Never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary.
3. You can't start the next chapter of your live, if you keep re-reading the last one.
4. When the power of love, overcomes the love of power this world will be awesome .
5. Look at me like I am the only one you see.
6. Being in LOVE is like Being DRUNK. No control over what you do.
7. I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.
8. Love is like rain...
Celebrate Women's Day 2012 with a Facebook status update.
Facebook status updates for Women's Day:
Women are the real architects of society. Happy Women's Day 2012!
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Timothy Leary
The fastest way to change society is to mobilize the women of the world. Charles Malik
If you want something said ask a man, if you want something done ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher
Woman is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacity. Happy Woman's Day. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
Remember, Ginger...
Funny status updates for April Fool's Day
I like to spend this day remembering all of the idiots who have come and gone in my life.
April 1st... A day the devil gets so happy.
If you have anything important to tell me, tell me tomorrow cause I won't believe you today. Happy April Fools Day!
When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
I've stopped celebrating April Fools Day when I realized my life was the big joke.
I'll be getting married on April 11. All of you are invited.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to...
Funny, witty and smart Facebook statues for Birthday:
I am waiting for a stripper to burst out of a giant cake. Anyone?
Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional. Happy birthday to me!
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
I am ready for another 365-day journey around the sun! Happy birthday to me!
Please gift wrap the viagra for me...