men vs women jokes

Men jokes. And women jokes. And all the Men versus Women jokes.

Men jokes

Only women laugh with these jokes:

Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

Category: Jokes

0 December 23, 2011

Men joke: Men are like...

Men are Like... Women jokes for men.

Men are like...Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Remote controls.
Chances are you'll find them lying by the TV.

Parking spaces at a popular mall.
The good ones are all taken.

Computers.
In order to get their attention, you must first turn them on.

Fine wine.
They take a long time to mature.

Oatmeal.
If they sit too long, they become lumpy.

Mascara.
They run at the first sign of tears.

Silverware.
They on appear only when there is food on the table.

Cats.

Category: Jokes

0 December 18, 2011

Bad date joke

Signs You Are On a Bad Date

You know you're on a bad date when:

Girls you know you're on a bad date when: (jokes for men)

You order a Double Whopper and he says, "Hey, my name ain't Rockefeller, honey."

You've never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.

He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.
Your dinner reservations are under "Loser, party of 2"

He's especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.

He calls to tell you he'll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.

Category: Jokes

0 December 18, 2011

The last word

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
This is not a joke.

Category: Jokes

0 December 17, 2011

Men are wrong

If a man speaks deep in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him; is he still wrong?

Category: Jokes

0 December 17, 2011