Murphy's work laws

The Murphy's laws about work :

- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
- To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
- Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
- Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
- Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
- There is never enough time to do it right the first time,A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isn't. but there is always enough time to do it over.
- After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
- A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
- If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- It is never wise to let a piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.
- You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.
- Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
- Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

Category: Jokes

0 December 17, 2011

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0. Everything that can go wrong will.

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- Constants aren't
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A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
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A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

The lawyer says: "Certainly a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.

The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and that is good for your health.

The mathematician says: " You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife --- you get some peace and quiet...

A bunch of jokes about the theory of relativity:

A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
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Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

funny, lol, physics, physics jokes

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The renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990)has presented the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

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2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT...