Top 20 of Murphy's laws

The top 20 of all the Murphy's laws. They all derive from the original law of Murphy:

0. Everything that can go wrong will.

In no particular order, here are the top 20 most important laws of Murphy:

1 - Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

2 - Anybody can win -- unless there happens to be a second entry.

3 - No matter which direction you start it's always against the wind coming
back.(No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.)

4 - Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

5 - No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.

6 - If it should exist, it doesn't. (If it does exist, it's out of date.)

7 - Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

8 - The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.

9 - Hot glass looks the same as cold glass.

10 - Any program will expand to fill available memory.

11 - Design flaws travel in groups.

12 - Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

13- The other line moves faster.

14 - A little ignorance can go a long way.

15 - Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

16 - There's always one more bug.

17- Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

18- Everything goes wrong all at once.

19- Everything costs more and takes longer.

20 - Murphy was an optimist.

(ok, the last law was put on the last place on purpose.)

Category: Jokes

0 December 17, 2011

Related ...

The Murphy's laws about work :

- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- Everything can...

Murphy's computer laws are based on experience and observations. They all derive from the original Murphys's law "everything that can go wrong will go wrong".

- Constants aren't
- If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
- If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
- Every non trivial program has at least one bug
- Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
- A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
- Failure is not an option, it's included with the software.
- If you're in...

Pessimistic and funny Murphy's laws on love :

- All the good ones are taken.
- If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
- If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
- Nothing improves with age.
- Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
- It is always the wrong time of month.
- It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.
- If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one.
- If you love her/him, s/he doesn't love you...

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.

Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head's spinning", the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in arbitrary N-dimensional space and then set N = 13."

A Statistics Department is hiring mathematicians. Three recent graduates are invited for an interview: one has a degree in pure mathematics, another one in applied math, and the third one obtained his B.Sc. in statistics.
All three are asked the same question: "What is one third plus two thirds?"
The pure mathematician: "It's one."
The applied mathematician takes out his pocket calculator, punches in the numbers, and replies: "It's 0.999999999."
The statistician: "What do you want it to be?"

A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

The lawyer says: "Certainly a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.

The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and that is good for your health.

The mathematician says: " You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife --- you get some peace and quiet...