Some funny Xmas quotes that evrybody will enjoy now in Christmas! Start your Christmas off with a laugh.
"Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip." Gary Allan
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." George Carlin
"Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time."
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband."
April Fools Day ( April 1st) is celebrated throughout the world as a day of fun and foolishness, where people play all kinds of practical jokes to each other.
The history of April fools tradition was well established during the 17th century in northern Europe. Every year on April 1st, people in London were invited to go to the Tower of London to see the "Lions washing". Of course there was no such event, but it is reported in newspapers of the time, that many would gather each year, waiting for it.
Signs You Are On a Bad Date
You know you're on a bad date when:
Girls you know you're on a bad date when: (jokes for men)
You order a Double Whopper and he says, "Hey, my name ain't Rockefeller, honey."
You've never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.
He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.
Your dinner reservations are under "Loser, party of 2"
He's especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.
He calls to tell you he'll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution. "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.